January 2003

Tension

"This is great!" she said between forkfuls of pad thai. "You picked the one Thai restaurant next to a Books-A-Million. I was so craving a mocha…and now I can take care of my sushi cravings and my mocha cravings!"

After we all finished our lunches, Rick and I pronounced ourselves the chile fans at the table, agreeing that the three-pepper heat level of our noodles wasn't much more than a nice tongue-tickling heat.

183 minutes of...

The year was 1990. At the time, I was just barely beginning to understand the concepts of mating, dating, and the time-honored ritual of Going To The Movies With A Boy. Little did I know that I was aimed, full speed ahead, for a dating misstep the likes of which are generally only shown in the worst of romantic comedies.

Bisexual Hot Chicks and the Porn Principle

Wow! Gentle readers, we have yet another winner in the "pester me once and I'll ignore you, pester me twice, and I post your words on my website and my friends make ruthless fun of you" category known as "stupid IM transcripts." That and, quite frankly, it's a Monday, and as we all know, at least 90% of all funny jokes are not funny on Mondays.

Thus, we do what we must to make the Monday bearable.

Under the tail of the dragon

The Dekalog (or 'Decalogue', in English): widely considered to be Krzysztof Kieślowski's masterwork, and also one of the most fiendishly difficult sets of films to actually see. Ten films, each an hour long, one for each of the Ten Commandments. Screenings are rare, and the DVDs are out of print and hideously expensive.

Happy belated birthday...

…to Daniel Hi'ilani Tsark, who, at 4 lbs. 15 ounces, made his entrance to the world at 3:52 p.m. on January 4th way, way out there in Arizona.Those of you who haven't met Kara have probably seen her comments (as kltsark) here on 'cat.net, and those of you who have known me for a while know that Kara was partly responsible for Jeff and I meeting in the first place.

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Attention all deities

There's a special place in hell reserved for people who believe they have Rightful Parking Inheritance.

You know them well. I saw one today and resisted the urge to take my lovely, smart Jetta and jam one of my headlights into the driver's side door. I managed to reason myself out of that rather suicidal urge through two reasons:

closet bee gee girl

Tonight: disco coding night in the house of the domesticat. I've been holed up in the computer room for a good chunk of the day, rotating through my collection of disco mp3s, patching up what fell somewhere between an oversight and a security hole in Quarto.

Yes, Quarto - remember that project? I seem to be back on track, in the way that a train barrelling down the track at Mach 2 could be described as being vaguely "on track."

horizontally aligned quacksicles == good

Day two, Quarto coding extravaganza.  We are coming to you live from the same chair that 98% of most cat.net entries are typed from; the only difference is that today I've spent most of my waking hours in this chair and not doing actually productive things.

Jeff wins the Write Amy An Import Script So She'll Shut Up™ award; we tested it tonight against the entries of geek-chick.net and guess what?  It worked.  No complaints, no quibbles - once I remembered to tell it the correct server paths to grab the files from, it imported in less than twenty seconds.I'm just...flabbergasted.

Speed bumps and slow raccoons

When Viet Huong opened in Huntsville, we celebrated: at last, Eastern food that wasn't a) Thai or b) buffet Chinese (which, we might add, has the approximate China Content of a porcelain teacup made in Mexico). Therefore, we visited, and we ate.

We weren't the only ones. The ricers showed up too, as they are wont to do, driving around and doing their business and unwittingly provoking howls of laughter among the rest of us who have far better things to spend our money on.

Shopping with the Muslims

This was my world, supposedly; but as I looked around me I realized that suddenly my long reddish hair and casual jeans marked me as the outsider.

I called it "Shopping With The Muslims."

Jeff would laugh every time I mentioned it, with that rich, cackling, my-crazy-spouse-cracks-me-up laugh that means both "I love you" and "You're insane." It's a laugh that reminds me of why I like my occasional flashes of eccentricity; while there is one kind of satisfaction to be found in living up to the expectations of others, there's another kind to be found in occasionally turning those expectations on their collective ears.What's the fun in living when, from day to day, you do nothing but exactly what your friends, spouse, and family expect you to do?

Nevertheless. The story, Amy, the story.

The McDonald's at 51a

The plan: drive from Huntsville to Atlanta. Obtain Gareth, whose current sojourn in the States has not yet produced the need for a rental car. Drive Gareth back to Huntsville, so that he can have some face time with the locals over a three-day weekend.

Message window, Gareth, yesterday afternoon: "Greg has proposed I-20 exit 51a at 7:30pm EST - there's a McDonald's there apparently."

nine of sixteen

It's always frustrating to try to write entries for cat.net when my mind's more occupied by the code of Quarto. It's difficult to come up with interesting things to say when your mind's current definition of 'interesting' is "oooooh! Now a quarto siteadmin can edit the general text message that's shown on the main Quarto admin screen!"

claustrophiliac cat

me: Edmund is doing scales in the hallway
Gareth: silly kitty
me: It's amazing how many notes a very determined cat can hit in one session of meowing at the wall
me: They're kinda annoyed with me at the moment.
I had to take the guest comforter in to be cleaned, and just got it back today.
Not only does their favorite sleep space no longer smell like them, it was cold from the car.
Gareth:
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ping THIS.

Few things on this planet can make me say "huh?" faster than code. However, as I've discovered, if I sit in my chair and only say "huh?" or "bwah?" only after testing out some new snippet of code, I eventually manage to turn "huh?" into "aha!"

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So much I did not know

Today's mail marked the arrival of a package I've never been able to forget about in the five years since it was created: a time capsule created in Dr. Holbrook's class during the latter part of my hellish senior year of college.

These were my words. Commentary follows.

December 11, 1997

Just some thoughts here. I've got to get this turned in in about 40 minutes, so I'm going to write as fast as I can and hope that I get everything. Mostly I just wanted to set down where I am right now...five years from now I guess I'll find it a little bit amusing to read all of this.

Hell Semester is almost over. I put my November calendar in with this—I can't believe I'm really going to survive it, but I guess I really will. Today is Thursday, and I only have one class tomorrow (Business Law) and then next week is finals. I have two finals on Monday, two on Tuesday, one on Wednesday, and one on Thursday.

Minority coding report

Notation #1: Quarto is now at version 0.8. Prior to their mass genocide at the hands of their dictatorial (and stylishly jackbooted) leadership, the peasants rejoiced.

Possibly the most exquisitely funny part of creating one's own CMS (content management system) is the joy of writing one's own tooltips - a long, tedious, and generally loathsome process that provides endless opportunities to slide in examples of one's highly warped sense of humor.

See also today's attempt to explain to Joe Unknown User on the purposes of a 'blurb':

A bored audience

Will the three people in this country who actually give a damn about the Super Bowl please raise your hand? (Aside from you, Rick. We've already made fun of you.)

As far as I can tell, this 'national championship game' is a beautifully transparent excuse for the following things:

The sucker is you

Hi. My name is Amy, and I'm watching Joe Millionaire, and yes, I know I suck.

I realize that there's a special place in hell for people like me, and that there's no such thing as pleading "But it's the only 'reality show' I've ever watched! Ever!" Claiming that exception has more in common with "But I didn't inhale!" than it does with any semblance of truth, and it gets you no free ride into any of the slightly cooler circles of hell.

Two new features

Two new features implemented as of today.  I'd be funnier about all this, but I'm tired, in the middle of squashing an ugly bug I just found this morning, and my sense of humor went off to have a four-martini lunch somewhere around noon.  It's nearly four hours later, and it hasn't bothered to stagger back in to work yet.  Wanker.

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This guy means business

Rice-chasing is fun. Sort of. Now, true, there is a certain element of danger to the chase; it's entirely likely that a man crazy enough to put an eight-foot wing on a four-cylinder car (and call it a "racing model") is also crazy enough to be packing a firearm or two…

…But I'm very, very quick about my photos, and also very, very stealthy.