March 2004

minus column (regimen #3)

I hate writing about the bad days here, mostly because my natural urge is to keep them to myself. However, I cannot present this chronicle of workouts as an entirely positive process, because that is not the case. I don't bounce in to the gym every morning, happy and perky to be there. Some mornings find me in workout clothes and shoes more through habit than excitement, and the workout is not an exercise of joy but in, simply, endurance.

all tags: 
weight loss

lost.

I've been holding off talking about this past week, hoping that I'd have some changes to report. Something worth celebrating - heck, at this point, I'd settle for 'worth writing about.' It's not been a good week. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I think I can safely say that it was worse than the first week I worked out, and that's saying something.Becky's weights regimen is not working well for me. I've suspected this for most of the past week, but wanted to give myself at least through Monday to make sure that it wasn't just me bellyaching over new work. Sure, I am, to some degree, but that's not all it is.

Becky asked me to start all the exercises at three sets (see link in previous paragraph), with no instructions for increasing weight, reps, or sets over the next couple of weeks. It was just, 'do this, and if you can'd do it at this weight, drop down until you're able to finish the reps.'

all tags: 
weight loss

Comfort care, revisited

Two years, minus eight days, ago:

Comfort care, for the living, is the cell phone that rings at a random hour, with the voice of an old friend on the other end of the line who says, "Look, I know you're up. Walk out of the room and talk to me."
— 'Comfort care,' 18 March 2002

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cancer diary
friends

become possible

Far be it from me to jump on the bandwagon of the insanity of dress sizes for American women. What is an 8? A 12? A 16? Is a 16 the same as a 16W? Why do women have to just instinctively know that an 8 in one manufacturer is a 12 in another, while men have to remember nothing more than (very concrete) waist and inseam measurements to find a pair of jeans that fit?

That's another rant for another day. Surprisingly enough, I'm not in a ranting mood. Quite the opposite, actually.

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weight loss

For Jody, who will see this eventually -

first breath:
joy, laughter, jubilance, tears
photo ops
congratulatory cards
bassinets and sleep deprivation

first love:
nervousness, sweating, jubilance, tears
and everything in between
photo ops
secret letters
stolen kisses and forever promises

first loss:
disbelief, numbness, anger, tears
no photos
just flowers
and wondering how it all went so fast
from that to this

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death
best
poetry
births
grief

Pardon our cleaning spree

Hark! The mothership comes.

After laughing for ages at how Shauny refers to her mother as The Mothership, I feel the need to steal her reference for the next few days. For lo, the Mothership is preparing to wing her way from the Tulliverse to Huntsvegas, and the Huntsvegas natives may never be the same.

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family
lists
nervousness

A curve with two endpoints

…and I thought about how sometimes I go to such pains in my writing. If I have made any promise at all to myself, it is that I will not live an unexamined life; I will not stumble blindly from event to event, from year to year. Even then, with that promise in hand, I find myself more often than not standing toe-to-toe with truths I don't always like—and more often than not, I'm the one to back down. It's easier to choose humor over honesty.

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death
cancer diary
weight loss

Gym rules

In the world of the gym, there are rules. Rules, I say!

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lists
stupidity
exercise
rants

I can do more. (regimen #4)

I take a great deal of satisfaction in saying that I think Jeff and I have finally found the trainer that we need to be working with. Only after I communicated this fact to a few friends did I realize how worried they were for me as I struggled to make it through the workouts of trainer #2, Becky. They were afraid that I would assume that my bad experience with Becky was my fault, not hers, and quit two months in.

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weight loss

Crockpot broth for cheaters like me

I love to cook, but I love my laziness more. Most of the time, this intersection of personal interests yields little of interest, but every now and then, I have a eureka! moment that's worth sharing.

In the past couple of years I've come to appreciate the goodness of an off-the-cuff pan sauce. A bit of stock, a bit of wine, some aromatics, and then a bit of thickening agent (either some kind of fat, or arrowroot starch dissolved in water) for a good mouthfeel. Reduce, plate, eat.

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food
cooking
stock
recipes

Goal jeans

Conversation today:

Me: "Hey, it's, like, a moral imperative that I get new shorts to work out in."

Misty: "Did your pants fall off at the gym today?"

Me: "Almost! I looked down and there was this nice big stretch of purple and I thought, 'Oh, that's REALLY not supposed to be there.'"

(Black shirt, denim shorts, nothing purple in the outerwear list, you get the idea.)

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quotes
weight loss

Two months in: clean closets, safe zone

Ever have this sinking feeling that says, "Don't take this for granted?"

I've been promising myself that I'd write some kind of two-month summary on the workouts. Admittedly, the weight loss is sliding in right before the deadline, but changes really do happen in sixty days. My blood pressure and resting heart rate have dropped (the latter, significantly). I've dropped two full dress sizes. My hair and nails have begun growing with a vengeance that I have not seen in many, many years.

all tags: 
weight loss