While we're at it, let's go for two in one day! Yahoo user aces_allnight14, a strong studly specimen hailing from Birmingham, Alabama, appears to be so absolutely desperate to get laid that he's trolling for nethoneys…and found (you guessed it!) me.

Tact, honey. It's about tact. Heard of it? It's that non-negotiable part between meeting a woman and clubbing her over the head for sex. Some people refer to it as "small talk." I like to think of it as an occasionally-useful part of the pre-coital process.

Hmm. Small. Can't imagine why that word came to mind.

Gentle reader, I present this afternoon's entertainment: