Here's a fun one: "porn."

So, what the hell, with a new design, why not shake things up a little bit?

I heard tell from one of my friends this evening that one of said friend's co-workers got caught having porn shipped to him at work. Now, there's something to be said for at least aspiring to get up from the bottom of the food chain. Come on, having porn mags shipped to you at work? You've gotta be kidding me. In today's environment, that's begging for a lawsuit.

Repeat after me: people never cease to amaze me. Really, they don't. I wake up every morning and I actually wonder what in the world my fellow carbon-based life forms are gonna come up with to amuse me today. They never fail to impress me. The previous paragraph is my example for today.

Ah, porn: the seamy underbelly of American society. We deny we've ever looked at it, we blush and laugh it off when other people mention it, and yet every decently-sized city in every state of this misogynistic, puritanical country has at least one strip joint and one porn shop. So if none of us are looking at it and none of us patronize Those Sort Of Places, how are they staying in business?

(Hint: get a mirror.)
(Spare me the crap. Not only am I an adult, I'm a married one. If I'm grown enough be honest, you can be too.)

I get so incredibly frustrated with American cultural values sometimes, and this is just one example. You can thank our religious heritage for stigmatizing and marginalizing the entire concept of sex. Wait until marriage. If it doesn't produce issue then it's a sin. Don't turn the lights on. Close your eyes and think of England.

..and, in the end, porn itself.

The word, in its current usage, implies something degrading yet secretly desirable. Something you want, but don't want to admit you want. Something you're not allowed to admit you want. Follow that thought through to its conclusion and you might be surprised: that, in some way, it indicates a wish to be like the people in the pictures you're looking at (or the stories you're reading, if you're literary-minded).

It should be said, though, that there are many conclusions that can be made, and the one I listed above is just one of those many. Sometimes, you're craving to see a naked chick because, quite frankly, you're in the mood to look at a naked chick—flowery landscapes just aren't cutting it, and there might not be any deeper meaning to it. But urges that are almost endemic in a population are very rarely completely devoid of deeper meaning, and in this country's case, I think it points to a society that has an incredibly unhealthy attitude toward sex.

There's no denying it—sex sells. Why is this? Ever asked yourself why are we so sensitive to the subject that even the mention of it is enough to sell perfume or clothing or furniture? Why do we cloak our society in the tantalizing words, language, and imagery of sex and yet have such a stigma over the actual act? We think nothing of movies with seduction scenes but freak out if an actual penis shows up. (What, you didn't think they were involved?)

We try to present ourselves as incredibly worldly and blasé. We watch R-rated, sexually-oriented scenes while chowing down on popcorn, yet if male genitalia show up, we freak out. (Example one: "Boogie Nights." Example two: "The Piano." Example three: "The Crying Game.")

What do we wish for? More freedom? The ability to acknowledge our desires openly without being shamed or mocked—whether by our fellow man or by our religion? A society whose religious underpinnings are more accepting of sexuality as a part of the human condition? A society where sex is truly more than just a necessary evil required for reproduction, whose enjoyment is sanctioned only for those who are paid for it and thus shunned from "good" society?

Good questions. I wish I knew the answers.

Consider Alabama—the state that, in the past year or so, actually enacted a law restricting the sale of "marital aids." Say it with me—yes, the legislature actually tried to outlaw the sale of vibrators—ooooh, yeah, those are some criminals that need to be taken off the street and punished, because those nasty dirty salesmen might teach people to enjoy sex.

Heaven forbid.

What an incredibly schizophrenic state Alabama is. Procreate—just be damn sure you don't enjoy it in the process. We throw people in jail for that down here, y'know. Just don't say it too loudly in front of the adult video stores out on University—it's probably bad for their business.

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