"Where do you intend to go with your dirty dress?"
- Jimmy Eat World

I always wondered what might make me change my mind and begin using private entries on domesticat. Now I know. Given a couple of days past the actual incident, I'm calmer than I was before, but the root of the matter still makes me sad.

I wonder about people who are crazy enough to do online journaling of any kind. Are these people safe to be seen in public with? Can they be trusted not to drool on themselves (or others near them)?

Every now and then, in the 0.000076 seconds between thought and thought-quashing, I think, "It would be interesting to have something along the lines of a blogmeet."

Lately, the constant struggle between the need for privacy and the need for release through writing has been tilted strongly toward the "need for privacy" end of the spectrum. The end result: sporadic entries, many about Quarto, and relatively few about the actual events taking place in my life.

Movies can make me think about many things: my life, my past, my future, my actions, my dreams. Every now and then one comes along that makes me rethink my actions and makes me doubt myself. I watched EDtv this evening and came away more disquieted than the premise of the movie would normally suggest.

Domesticat is my outlet, my creative energy, my place to write and think and design in peace. Yet I make it publicly viewable. I don't actively encourage people to come to the site; I mention it to people if the situation and conversation warrants it, but I do not force people to come here.

Yet…since I started the site thirteen months ago, I've watched quietly as my site hits went up every month. The first time I got queasy and a bit nervous was when I realized that people other than my close, immediate, living-here-in-town friends were reading what I wrote.

I didn't realize how much I needed to get away for a short while. (I had an utterly different start to this, and then accidentally lost it. Then I realized that Andy was looking over my shoulder, so everything I had in my mind has now gone away.)