I wish this was fictional. It isn't.

Person: "We're worried about attendance for [this event], and we think we need to do more to get the word out."
Amy: "Well, you need to start off with contacting the Huntsville Times. They have an events calendar, and a much larger reach than we do." (pause) "Have you contacted the Valley Planet?"
Person: "What's that?"
Amy: "It's a weekly arts paper here in Huntsville."
Person: "Never heard of it." (pause)
Amy: (scribble) "Here are my contacts at both papers. I can't guarantee a lot of coverage, but they will at least get you on their events calendars."
Person: "We were thinking that we'd really like to try to attract a younger crowd, as well. Since this is an arts-related event, we were thinking, you know, like the people that go to events at the Flying Monkey."
Amy: "Have you put up signs there, or contacted anyone at the Flying Monkey?"
Person: "Um, no. Should we?"
Amy: (cries a little inside) "Yes."