First, when I went into the bathroom a few minutes ago, I found a pen. Because of what was on it, I know who it belonged to. The pen was screen-printed with many different fonts, and the message read, over and over:

Jesus Is Y2K Ready!

I'm desperately trying to be kind here. I'm failing miserably. Look, I respect everyone's differences, and will fight to the death to ensure that everyone is allowed to worship as he or she chooses—but dammit, I can't help laughing if your slogans are dumb.

(C'mon, folks, it's nearly September 2000 already—give up the Y2K stuff and go crawl back into your caves.)

If there's one thing that amuses me about the Christian fundamentalists in this country, it's that an incredible number of them have no sense of humor. A second thing that amuses me about many of them—their incontrovertible belief that they have everything right, and that anyone who disagrees with them on religious grounds is automatically wrong. The combination of the two is deadly.

During the same venture to the bathroom, I also discovered that this person didn't flush. I wasn't particularly pleased to see a nice little log floating there. C'mon…these are your co-workers, people, do you really think we wanna see this?

Are people really that brain dead? Do they think we WANT to see this sort of thing when we dash to the bathroom on our breaks? Do they think we're going to be amused, play with it, scoop it out and plop it on our desk as a sick little trophy? Or do they stand up, zip up, and think, "Nah, no one will notice." ?

Yeah. Right. Whatever. Float your logs at home, folks, 'cause we don't want 'em here at work.