grace, too

'armed with will and determination / and grace too' - tragically hip

Every one of you who started laughing at the thorough inappropriateness of that comment may now, quite simply, hush, because Ms. Domesticat has a whole bowlful of smack-fu for you. Well, that is, as long as the bowlful of smack-fu is applied with my right hand…See, here's [one of] my problem[s] with the world. Everybody else gets the good injuries. You know, the war stories. Sean's got good, manly rollerblading stories of doom. Kat and Kara have the equivalent in soccer stories. Most of my friends are like that.

In comparison, it's hard to thrust your fingers in your belt loops and say nonchalantly, "Yeah, you know how I've broken bones? The first time I was flying a kite, and the second time I fell out of bed…oh, shut up already."

If you only knew how close I came to adding yet another stupid mishap to those two tonight…

See, everyone else finds really cool ways to break stuff, injure stuff, or otherwise come home with cuts and bruises and war stories. I'm reduced to poking fun at myself on my own website because I asked Jeff to pause the VCR in the midst of episode 2 of tonight's Buffy-a-thon.

Why? Because I wanted some ice cream.

So I made grand plans to walk around the table and into the kitchen, a trip I have made many, many times before for different reasons. Instead, this time, I stepped on the two TenzingBlankets™ that are on the floor, and I skidded. Forward.

You know this cannot possibly have a good ending.

My right knee locked, and in one of my more pitiable examples of "two broken wrists haven't taught me a thing," I threw my left hand backward to catch myself. Instead of falling on my wrist and managing to make nice crunnnnnchy noises, I instead managed to aim the fingers of my left hand exactly perpendicular to the coffee table…and attempted to make them hold my entire body weight.

Judging by the whimpery noises I made (most of which could be translated to "Ow!"), this was not a good idea—a suspicion that was further increased by the aforementioned finger's loss of motion.

I am the only person I know who can manage to sustain injury by deciding to sit down to watch a Buffy-a-thon with her spouse. You'd think such silliness would've been weeded out by evolution a long time ago.

Could be worse. At least it's not broken. If I thought the falling-out-of-bed bit was humiliating…

Laughter, pointed (uninjured please) fingers, and general canoodling may be left in the comments…

all tags: 

Comments

'sokay, Amy. I broke my tailbone playing Nerf basketball.

At least I have an excuse to get injured ... I take karate (I pay people to beat me up).

You have my sympathy Amy....I injured my back once just by getting out of a car. Nothing special there. Open the door, step out and *CRICK* I'm stuck in a half pretsel for the rest of the day!

yes, but brad darling - you are OLD. ;-P "how many times have I told you? Ice Cream is BAD for you!" (sorry, couldnt resist) *hugs* for the broken domesticat, from the ever smitten kitten.

My advisor at UAH has a good one - she tore a tendon connecting her middle finger to her hand by taking her socks off.

Oh, and my friend PJ tore ligaments in his thumb taking a pair of jeans out of the dryer. I can hear him yelling "shut up!" at me now ... :)

Margaret's dad broke his wrist at dog obedience school. It had nothing to do with thier dog. He just slipped on the floor and did the same thing you did, he caught himself with his hands and it shattered a wrist. I mean, geez, he can't even say that he was attacked by a maniacal dog. He just fell.

Update the next morning -- something's definitely not right here. The finger is swollen, and I have very little range of motion. Bloody well hurts, too. There's also this bit of bruising that's starting to show up on the underside of the finger. I can't use the finger to type with at all -- hurts too much. Maybe I need to have it looked at...

Go get it looked at, asap. You most likely fractured it. *sigh* I know b/c I've done it a couple times. Go to the ER. It's a relatively quick thing to determine the problem and then they'll likely splint your finger for a couple weeks.

See, I'd argue that she hasn't fractured it, and that it's a tissue injury, but then I just tape broken fingers anyway. Splints are for wimps. :)

Well, if you have a question as to what an untaken care of fractured finger can look like after it's healed, just look at my right pinky finger. It's crooked and it will always be like that b/c I kept insisting that I hadn't broken it when in reality it had been broken. Fingers are weird that way. Unless it's a major break, you can still move them. Even if it's just a tissue injury, though, we don't have medical degrees. It would be better if someone who had one actually determined what was wrong with it.

Last week I managed to make something go *fwip* in my back by just raking. Also, whenever I go to the doctor, he tells me "You're way too inflexible. One of these days you'll be walking up some stairs and seriously injure yourself." I wouldn't even have to fall, just walk up stairs!

Well, my pinkies are crooked by genetics. Hell, breaking my left one seven times has straightened it out some. :)

Kat even if you go to the doctor, it does not mean that it will mend straight. Take a look at my right pinky. It was in a splint and it made no difference. That being said, I did wait two days before getting it seen about. At the same time I had bandages covering 5 stitches on my left pinky. Having two gimped up pinkys was a learning experience.

I bet that made it a bitch to drink tea.

Amy just called. It wasn't broken. Ha.

That must have been a bitch to type. I remember I couldn't play cello for 2 weeks while I had my right middle finger splinted. It healed straight *thankfully* It was great, though, because nobody could accuse me of flicking them off the whole time. Man, I got away with that so many times.

Just a note, I'm not the Brad above. So Will, you just called a complete stranger "darling". =) Other than that I can't comment having never broken a bone or received stitches (other than for wisdom teeth and tonsils) in my life.

Doesn't Will call complete strangers "darling" all the time? :)

Usually only female ones.