As a country, we appear to have learned absolutely nothing from the débâcle that was the 2000 presidential election. As a group of friends, we have learned something. Never again will any of us be naïve enough to say the following:

"You know, we should just drink until the election's decided."

It had, after all, been Kat's 21st birthday, and this wackiness in Florida had been getting funnier by the daiquiri, and by mid-evening we were plenty toasty and the election showed no sign of making a graceful stage-right exit from our televisions.

Eventually we got everyone sober enough to go home, and we watched with horror as we realized that if we'd stuck to our guns, we would have gone on a month-long bender of historic proportions.

Fast-forward four years.

Tomorrow night at Stephen and Misty's, we'll commemorate the probable beginning of the recount with geek-style socialization. The locals are expected to bring the following:

• dinner
• pajamas
• laptops
• booze

I wish I could sit here in my chair, reflect on thoughts of the gathering, and say that we're going to be celebrating. The truth is that even though we'll have people in attendance who will have voted for Bush, Kerry, and Nader, none of us will be celebrating anything but our own cynicism. We've made jokes about bringing Canadian booze and giving bonus points to anyone who can sing the Canadian national anthem in French while swilling Canadian booze and standing up straight in hockey skates.

Tomorrow, in the race that my husband has started describing as "the wrong choice versus the stupid choice," I'll cast my vote for John Kerry even though, in the end, I know that vote is meaningless. Bush will carry Alabama, and carry it decisively, and nothing short of a signed videotape showing Bush personally burning down a church full of disabled war veterans holding cute fluffy bunnies will change that.

Take away the bunnies, and Alabama will still go for Bush. Now that's conservatism.

Still, you gotta vote your conscience. (You in the back who just asked, "She has one?" I heard that, you little pest.)

If I'm lucky, when I feed my ballot into the machine tomorrow morning, a little light will go on and little elves will start tapdancing and chanting "Liberal! Liberal!" just so the other suburbia-dwellers will know that their haven has been infiltrated.

Either way, I think I need to pick up some booze for tomorrow night. I have a feeling it's going to be a long, long night.