Transcript: 'completely scientifical'

Everyone needs some Monday morning humor. Unsurprisingly, mine came from yet another Huntsville-area native who felt the need to be, well, inane.

I admit it. I'm old school. I post a link to my website in my profile. If you haven't even looked at it prior to contacting me, it's going to show. Questions like "how are you?" are questions that will be honestly answered if they're asked by a friend. "How are you?", when asked as an opening gambit because you don't know anything else about me, virtually guarantees that you've gotten off on the wrong foot.

In a couple of cases, I've preserved a bit more of the conversation than I normally do - including dates, to see that this wasn't the first time this guy tried to contact me.

mstrplsr4u: (Fri Nov 08 12:22:43 2002)
hello, how are you?
me: Fine, thanks. I'm in the middle of a lot of work today; today isn't a good day to chat. Sorry.
mstrplsr4u: maybe another time then?
me: *** Auto-response sent to mstrplsr4u: I'm in the house. Somewhere. Doing something. It might even be interesting. You never know.
mstrplsr4u: im me sometime
me: *** Auto-response sent to mstrplsr4u: I'm in the house. Somewhere. Doing something. It might even be interesting. You never know.

*** (Link: mstrplsr4u)mstrplsr4u has added you to their contact list. You may choose to (Link: mstrplsr4u)accept or (Link: mstrplsr4u)deny this action.. You may also (Link: mstrplsr4u)add this user to your contact list or (Link: mstrplsr4u)ignore this user.
Session Close (mstrplsr4u): Fri Nov 08 12:42:21 2002

mstrplsr4u: (Mon Nov 18 09:49:14 2002)
hi, how are you?
me: Oh, it's Monday, so I was thinking of growing a third leg or arm. Something to ease the monotony.
mstrplsr4u: good idea!
mstrplsr4u: i am counting all the bees in the hive and chasing clouds from the sky
mstrplsr4u: for now
*** (Link: mstrplsr4u)mstrplsr4u has added you to their contact list. You may choose to (Link: mstrplsr4u)accept or (Link: mstrplsr4u)deny this action.. You may also (Link: mstrplsr4u)add this user to your contact list or (Link: mstrplsr4u)ignore this user.
me: So why are you contacting random people via yahoo?
mstrplsr4u: it is not random
mstrplsr4u: completely scientifical
mstrplsr4u: why are you responding to complete strangers?
me: Because more often than not, their responses are inane enough to post on my website. Leads to great laughter and much mocking amongst my friends.
mstrplsr4u: can you not find better things to do than make fun of other people?
me: Well, considering that they've all been males who seem to think that my life is so desperately unfulfilled that I'll be interested in being hit on by some nameless, faceless stranger….yeah.
mstrplsr4u: your lack of esteem for the male of the species and the utter contempt in your tone makes it apparent you are not really interested in carrying on an intelligent conversation with someone who could provide new horizons in your young life…I wish you well in your attempts to dis the other men who make the mistake of iming you…thank you for your precious time
me: Good. Check my website in a few minutes. You'll be today's main course. Good luck trolling.

*** mstrplsr4u has been ignored.

All good Yahoo conversations seem to end with that phrase: '[so-and-so] has been ignored.'

So. Maybe I should take a poll here about my lack of esteem for the male species. Jeff? Jeremy? Sean? Geof? Rick? Tim? jowilson? Andrew? Andy? Matthew? Stephen? Brad? Will? Jody? Noah? Thomas? Danno? How's my esteem comin'? Do we need to work on some esteem issues? If there are deficiencies or just general issues, I guess y'all could come over before we head out to Tuesday night's movie. I'll make you dinner - and, if you ask nicely, I'll make you cookies. :)

Yes, the ooey-gooey chocolate chip kind.

(Ask Domesticat will return later today. In the meanwhile, today's special phrase is "Bourgeois pig!" Use it after a 'shave-and-a-haircut' knock and the secret door will open…)

Comments

Yeah, Amy is totally intimidated by guys and won't talk to any of us. She hates us all.

Why yes, you're as wonderful a friend to all members of the human species - males, females, and felines - as I've ever known in my life. Now, about those cookies... =)

I believe that this random IM'er is a bourgeois pig.

Noah - the cookies are fantabulous. Better yet, the recipe is available online - it's Alton Brown's chewy choccy-chip-cookie recipe. The recipe can be found on this page of the FoodTV website. I'd make 'em and send 'em to you, but they really are at their best within a couple of hours of baking. Can't vouch for how long they last. We've never had that issue around here.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou! (See, I was right! Take that, you... you bourgeois pig anarcho-communist!)

Nope. -snarfs an imaginary cookie-

I can't tell you how impressed I am by anyone who uses "scientifical" and then says that you aren't interested in intelligent conversation. That shore is ironical.

I meant the guy in her chat above, not you, Geof. Ah well. Cookies uber alles.

Far be it that the chatter in question has self-esteem issues, which might explain him trying to pick up random women via the Internet. Scientifical ... are you sure you weren't chatting with George W. Bush? Here's my quotable quote for the day ... Technology doesn't make society smarter, it just widens the scope of idiots.

Actually, Msgr. Grey, I was referring to Amy's condition of having cookies around the abode. Let me tell you ... if I'm around, they last in their extant state an even shorter time than normal ... ;)

I'm still trying to decode Mensa-boy's handle: "Mister Pleasure For You"? "Meister Pulsar For You?" "Master Pleaser For You?" "Miss Trap Loser For You?" "Most Repel Surfer You?"

I dunno, every time I go over, Amy throws a big rock at my head. Lucky I don't take hints well.

But....but....I only do it because I love you! Besides, you don't bleed. Much. Excuse me while I hide now....