Wallpaper paste de-conjuration

Captain's log: Day 6,351,287. I have survived great olfactory evil. Why did it not occur to me that chemical solutions strong enough to denature wallpaper paste were strong enough to cause a queasy stomach - until after the fact? Why do I always manage to find the slowest cashier at a Wal-Mart on any given day? Why does Edmund persist in giving Tenzing unprovoked bites to his ass?

I don't hate the bathroom yet. Pretty fishtank. Lovely fishtank. I also don't hate wallpaper. I just hate the paste that holds it to the nearest wall.
Wallpaper paste does not react well to standard negotiation tactics. I have nothing it wants, so it ignores me and continues holding on to both sheetrock and wallpaper. I regret that it has forced me to resort to violence and chemical warfare, but what must be done, must be done.

I'd had shiny happy plans of moving on and starting to work on the master bathroom, but after my rigorous porcelain prayer session invoked by the scent of wallpaper stripper, I'm suddenly finding other chores that need my attention between now and dragon*con.

I survived the Bathtub Balancing Chore (ladder in tub, domesticat on ladder, paint can in one hand, brush in other hand) with only minor wobbles and rushes of adrenalin. It was, however, with great pleasure that I removed the shower curtains from their iniquitous relationship with my new sweaters and placed them back in their rightful places atop the tub.

The cats are still annoyed. They walk past their food bowls - which we've placed in the hallway so that they don't have to enter the bathroom for food - into the bathroom, where they present us with the It Smells Bad In Here face and demand to know where their food is. We're not sure who got the brightest kitties in that litter, but heaven help the other owners if we did.

Tomorrow shall consist of me balancing on the vanity while attempting feats of wallpaper paste de-conjuration while attempting not to kill myself by falling off said vanity. We still have to move the toilet and the mirror so that this job can be completed.

It will be completed, and soon. I will love it when it is done, when I have poured the excess paint into a tiny tub for storage, when I have stowed my exacto knife and thrown out the last of the used masking tape, when the blue on the walls is even at last and the shaved-off pieces of ex-wallpaper are evicted from my house.

Until that time...may my scraper stay clean and the fumes avoid my nose.

all tags: 
cats
painting

Comments

On , Shelley said...
"We're not sure who got the brightest kitties in that litter, but heaven help the other owners if we did." Bahahahahaha! Great post all round Amy, but that bit takes the cake :D

On , angel said...
use a steamer!

On , Suzan said...
At least you're not dealing with Kilz primer in January. Brian and I spent the better part of an hour giggling on the back deck after priming his office. This was followed of course, by two of the world's worst hangover headaches.

On , Tialessa said...
Good luck Ames! My Dad's going to help me with painting the *flowered* wall right after D*Con. I've got at least 4 other paint projects after that once I get a clue on how to do it correctly... bedroom wall; bathroom; other bathroom; kitchen; repaint the trim from when THEY painted....... I bet I'll add to that list! And I agree about the brightest kitties comment - good thing the phone didn't ring - I couldn't have answered through the giggling...

On , webjones said...
finding the slowest cashier at wal-mart is kind of like locating the smallest grain of sand on the beach. just as each grain of sand is so small as to be indistinguishable, so the cashiers at wal-mart are so slow.

On , Kevin said...
Are you puncturing the wallpaper before hand? Be it steaming or using a semi-solid or a liquid remover, you should always puncture the wallpaper before hand, so the remover has an easier time getting to the paste.

On , domesticat said...
Actually, I'm doing a little more than that, Kevin - the wallpaper I'm removing is almost totally waterproof (it was designed for bathroom/kitchen use), which means that it's pretty easy to grab it with my hands and tear off the waterproof section entirely. Once that's gone, then I spray. I'm about 80% done with the room now. Today is the day where I work on the section above the mirror. Nothing like balancing on a vanity to make one's day exciting. Perhaps that should be the next entry: "vanity balancing." Heh.