Weird. It's not spring yet, but the chickens have all gathered outside and are screaming their fool heads off while staring at the skies. Everyone in Huntsville seems to have gotten the memo that the sky is falling. However, I feel obligated to point out some obvious things amidst the frantic clucking.

The Huntsville city schools closed at 12:30 today, provoking a mad scramble among my co-workers who are parents, in order to make arrangements for all snowflakes to arrive safely home (or to the loving eyes of caregivers elsewhere). The only problem with this scenario?

THERE AREN'T ANY TORNADOES.

Look, I understand the idea of being prepared, but you know what? I write this at 1:50 p.m., having just finished my delightful deli lunch, having looked at the weather map, and discovering that the storm line isn't even in Alabama yet.

Say it with me kids: they closed the schools for a storm system in Mississippi.

Now, let me be honest. There is no disputing that we'll get storms today. They are coming, and they're going to be heavy at times, and the unseasonable warmth means tornadoes can happen. On the other hand? Look at the map, and look at how fast the storms are traveling. The storms won't get here before 4:30 at the earliest. They'll be home and demanding dinner before it starts raining hard, much less storming.

So, apparently "ominous scawy storm clouds booga booga" are now a reason to close school.

Maybe Darwin was harder on us when I was in grade school. I remember learning tornado drills in hallways when I was a kid. There was none of this "send the snowflakes home in case we all die" nonsense.

However, I'm thinking those chickens outside might make some mighty fine eating tonight. I should go catch one.

As usual: if I die, I'll call.

Update#1: So I got the time wrong. First thunder heard in east Huntsville at about 3:20. We are, of course, all going to die now.

Amusing side note: Apparently mocking and contemplating eating Chicken Little is my yearly response to Huntsville's continuing moronity re: tornadoes. I highly recommend reading that entry, "Toilet paper will not save you" as a historical exercise.