A pink tutu!

One of the problems in life is that I'm fat enough that I don't fit into fairy godmother costumes without a lot of uncomfortable poking, squeezing, and pinching. But every now and then it seems like clambering into one of those costumes is the right and necessary thing to do.

It's been a wild weekend. Looking back, we managed to do almost none of the things that I'd promised Andy that we'd do this weekend. Because we got stranded outside of Birmingham on Friday night, we didn't get to go to the art exhibits. Because of a particularly nasty car fire (someone else's car, not ours) on Saturday night, we opted not to go to the Christmas event on the mountain. But I think the actual events of the weekend made up for the planned events that didn't happen.To say that Andy and Heather hit it off well this weekend would be a bit of an understatement—especially considering that he didn't even come back to our house to sleep on Saturday night.

I wish a lot of wishes, many of them selfish, mundane, or boring. But in my heart I carry a little packet of zingers. That my friends and family will be kept safe. That they will be happy and healthy. That they will know joy and peace, and in some cases come to understand the worth I place on my relationship with them.

If you poke through various entries here since I started writing public entries, you'll probably get the sense that the year I'm chronicling hasn't been the easiest for me. I can't and won't claim to have dealt well with not having Jeff around much due to grad school. A lot of the sense that I've shown in the past year can be attributed to Andy being there to talk me through days and nights that were especially rough.

In exchange, I've watched him be unhappy. It's hurt to watch, it's hurt to have stood by him, and many many times I've hung up the phone and wished that I had a fairy-godmother wand that I wave to somehow make everything better.

Understand that if I were not married, and I were living in a world in which there was no Jeff, I would date Andy in a heartbeat. While he's exasperating and maddening and infuriates me on a regular basis, he's also charming and funny and insightful and someone I greatly enjoy being around. It's been a source of sadness for me that no other woman has come along and seen what I thought was so plainly obvious in my friend.

That's why it was so incredibly gratifying for me to see Andy kiss Heather goodbye at the airport. It didn't help that I was sick and had just come out of the airport bathroom where I had been barfing my toenails out, but of the things I could've seen upon coming out of that bathroom, this was one of the best options.

I can't predict the future. Nor can I predict what's right for my friends (though sometimes I try). But today I saw two friends—one old, one new—both of whom have been in desperate need of some happiness, find some. Despite the fever and the vomiting and the other nasty stuff I've got, I think I'd still have to classify this as a damned good day.

As for me, I'm getting out of this fairy godmother suit. I'm going to try to eat something—maybe I'll be able to keep food down this time. My friends will just have to take care of themselves for a while. :)