'armed with will and determination / and grace too' - tragically hip
Every one of you who started laughing at the thorough inappropriateness of that comment may now, quite simply, hush, because Ms. Domesticat has a whole bowlful of smack-fu for you. Well, that is, as long as the bowlful of smack-fu is applied with my right hand…See, here's [one of] my problem[s] with the world. Everybody else gets the good injuries. You know, the war stories. Sean's got good, manly rollerblading stories of doom. Kat and Kara have the equivalent in soccer stories. Most of my friends are like that.
In comparison, it's hard to thrust your fingers in your belt loops and say nonchalantly, "Yeah, you know how I've broken bones? The first time I was flying a kite, and the second time I fell out of bed…oh, shut up already."
If you only knew how close I came to adding yet another stupid mishap to those two tonight…
See, everyone else finds really cool ways to break stuff, injure stuff, or otherwise come home with cuts and bruises and war stories. I'm reduced to poking fun at myself on my own website because I asked Jeff to pause the VCR in the midst of episode 2 of tonight's Buffy-a-thon.
Why? Because I wanted some ice cream.
So I made grand plans to walk around the table and into the kitchen, a trip I have made many, many times before for different reasons. Instead, this time, I stepped on the two TenzingBlankets that are on the floor, and I skidded. Forward.
You know this cannot possibly have a good ending.
My right knee locked, and in one of my more pitiable examples of "two broken wrists haven't taught me a thing," I threw my left hand backward to catch myself. Instead of falling on my wrist and managing to make nice crunnnnnchy noises, I instead managed to aim the fingers of my left hand exactly perpendicular to the coffee table…and attempted to make them hold my entire body weight.
Judging by the whimpery noises I made (most of which could be translated to "Ow!"), this was not a good idea—a suspicion that was further increased by the aforementioned finger's loss of motion.
I am the only person I know who can manage to sustain injury by deciding to sit down to watch a Buffy-a-thon with her spouse. You'd think such silliness would've been weeded out by evolution a long time ago.
Could be worse. At least it's not broken. If I thought the falling-out-of-bed bit was humiliating…
Laughter, pointed (uninjured please) fingers, and general canoodling may be left in the comments…