Ready, set, technoquilt!

I have little of use or consequence to say, but I’d like to note that all of the stars have been brought to the end of Stage One: Partial Assembly.

See these, down at the bottom of this photo?  All sewn now, baby:

[‘Soon, stars’ on flickr]

Stage Two seems to involve ironing the last 70-odd stars that haven’t gotten the Hot Steamy Smackdown.

Stage Three … you know it … brace for it … it’s TECHNOQUILTING TIME.  Yes, that great and glorious day when I set up a whiteboard, photograph all the half-sewn bits one by one, and fidget everything around in Photoshop until I’ve got a running order.  I realize most people use Photoshop for normal things, like graphic design and making one’s boobs look bigger in photos, but I’ve got plenty of boobs and normal is so damned passé.

Stage Four is boring as all hell — that’s when I take the Technoquilt Grid painstakingly developed in Stage Three (or possibly created hurriedly in Stage Three [subsection A], otherwise known as "let’s get this over with") and slowly, meticulously, endlessly, ceaselessly, will-this-ever-be-over slowly stitch that puppy together into something that hopefully looks less like FrankenFabric and more like a quilt top that was, you know, supposed to look like that.

Never mind that at this point, I haven’t even seen all of the pieces laid out. Do I have enough color variation? Did I pick too strongly from the green-and-blue fabrics? Are those super-subtle fabrics really going to work against those uberbrights? Will I ever manage to think of technoquilting without thinking of that gloriously-named Little Rock band, "Techno Squid Eats Parliament"? Meh, probably not.

On a slightly more serious note, I know that I don’t have the exact number of stars I’ll need. I’ve left myself some wiggle room for slotting in additional stars to blend any color transitions that Just Don’t Work™. I’ll place all the pieces according to some cosmic order I haven’t determined yet. I’ll get everything together on one screen, and it will tell me what it wants to be.  It’s a very Zen experience to go from a mishmash of unstudied, random pieces to — order, design, harmony.

Translation: I am totally making this up as I go.

• ‹ previous
• 1402 of 1674
• next ›