There is An Unspeakable Thing.
Yeah, that sums it up. There is a thing that is currently Unspeakable, which will become Speakable on some date rather soon. When, exactly, I don't know, but it will probably be at the end of this month. Hopefully sooner.
I'll say this much, with a great deal of amusement: I won't be the person to share the secret, but I feel pretty confident that someone will step up and do it right here in the comments when the time is right.
So, in the meantime, anyone got anything they'd like to get off their chest? If you're stumped, here's an easy way to start passing the time:
I'm going to Lake Wobegon and I'm bringing asafoetida, blueberry brandy, chewed-up calcium tablets, and... ?