It certainly seems like I've written this entry before.

Kat tells me that my feverish and slightly nonsensical journal entries from this week are greatly amusing Sean. Just think, Sean—you could be here, putting up with my grumpy, feverish, utterly charming self in person, but instead you're in snowy Atlanta.

(Please raise your hand if you find that statement to be as utterly screwed up as I do.)

Basically, it's the same damn rigmarole that I've been living with since Monday evening. Sore throat, stiff neck, fluctuating fever, exhaustion. Blah blah lah dee frickin' blah blah blah. Hey, at least the fever makes me easy to entertain…not only do I have the attention span of a goldfish, but my cats find me equally as fascinating.

I went to work today from 9:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Didn't take a lunch; never really found the time to. April's been promoted to web design manager (yay!) and they've brought in a subcontractor to help out with the workload while I'm ill. (Ann seems concerned that what I have is more serious than just a cold, so she opted to bring in help so that we would be able to make all the deadlines we promised.)

I've scheduled a doctor's appointment for 9:15 tomorrow morning—weather permitting, of course. Hopefully we'll get some blood work done, along with a few tests to help isolate what the problem is. While I'll be grateful to know what the problem is, my discomfort around doctors is nearly legendary.

There are Christmas presents sitting in the guest bedroom that probably aren't going to get wrapped before we leave for Arkansas on Friday evening. I'm afraid that my social calendar is just about filled up with scheduled and unscheduled naps. Everything else appears to need to be rescheduled.

I'm just worried that between the impending icy weather (due in tomorrow morning) and my lackluster health at the moment, I won't be able to go to Arkansas for Christmas. Three years it's been since I've been home for Christmas. So long to be away. So much has changed. My grandfather gone; me married; my sister divorced and remarried to someone I haven't met yet; my nephew changed from the babbling baby to a large child who will be entering, yes, kindergarten next year.

I know full well I'm something of a stranger to my family now.

** In the meantime, I'm pausing to score a direct hit with the Chloraseptic. Ahhhhhhhh….

I shudder at the thought of a seven-hour drive when I have trouble staying awake that long without needing a nap. But my grandmother is in her eighties, and my father is recovering from his surgery to correct that horrifically large aneurysm.

Right now I'm just telling myself that while yes, it's going to be tiring and draining on me to go to Arkansas for Christmas, that I'm going to hate myself for it if I don't go and something…drastic…happens before next Christmas.

So I'll go.

Current temperature: 99.6. Go down already, dammit. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm almost to the point that I don't care if it snows tomorrow; I just want to sleep.