There are two possibilities for this vehicle.

Possibility #1: Professional job.
Implication #1: Money was spent.
Implication #2: Someone actually gets paid to do this sort of thing.

Possibility #2: Homegrown.
Implication #1: Too cheap to pay for real paintjob (come to think of it, this falls under Possibility #1 as well)
Implication #2: Friends stood by and let this happen.

Sir:

Having wandered over to the Beast Buy parking lot from the restaurant across the street, we were alarmed to notice the existence of your car, which is plainly against the laws of Universe 57(b), Nebula 86XVI (records of which are available at various government agencies temporarily relocated to Omicron Persei 8 due to high consumer demand).

Rice-chasing is fun. Sort of. Now, true, there is a certain element of danger to the chase; it's entirely likely that a man crazy enough to put an eight-foot wing on a four-cylinder car (and call it a "racing model") is also crazy enough to be packing a firearm or two…

…But I'm very, very quick about my photos, and also very, very stealthy.

Hi. My name is Amy, and I'm watching Joe Millionaire, and yes, I know I suck.

I realize that there's a special place in hell for people like me, and that there's no such thing as pleading "But it's the only 'reality show' I've ever watched! Ever!" Claiming that exception has more in common with "But I didn't inhale!" than it does with any semblance of truth, and it gets you no free ride into any of the slightly cooler circles of hell.

When Viet Huong opened in Huntsville, we celebrated: at last, Eastern food that wasn't a) Thai or b) buffet Chinese (which, we might add, has the approximate China Content of a porcelain teacup made in Mexico). Therefore, we visited, and we ate.

We weren't the only ones. The ricers showed up too, as they are wont to do, driving around and doing their business and unwittingly provoking howls of laughter among the rest of us who have far better things to spend our money on.

There's a special place in hell reserved for people who believe they have Rightful Parking Inheritance.

You know them well. I saw one today and resisted the urge to take my lovely, smart Jetta and jam one of my headlights into the driver's side door. I managed to reason myself out of that rather suicidal urge through two reasons: