How do you make the guest bed when it means interrupting this?

More importantly, how do you get the eighteen pounds of white kitty belly fur off of the dark green comforter without a trip to the dry cleaner's?

There was a time several years ago, here in Huntsville, when many of the names that appear now in my daily life had yet to appear in my life for the first time. It began, as these things are wont to do, with a butterfly flapping its wings somewhere over the coast of Thailand; two years later, it ended with me taking a web design job in a farm of fresh grey cubicles.

Two cubes down, there was someone about my age. Her name was Kat and she said, "I'm a wondergeek."

"What's a wondergeek?" I asked. She showed me the answer: her roommates. Powerpuff Girls, even: Heather the brunette, Jessica the blonde, Kat the long-haired redhead.

Somewhere along the way, she came to our house for the first time, and Jeff laughed and I laughed and she laughed and I began to suspect that there was something potentially okay about these Huntsville folk after all.

I went shopping today.

It doesn't sound like much, until I tell you that I went to Victoria's Secret, and for the first time in nearly a decade, I didn't just stand outside the window, look in, and wish for that far-off, mythical 'someday' to come in which I'd be able to fit in their clothes again. It's been nearly a decade since I shopped in Victoria's Secret. A decade of looking in that window and knowing that people like me just weren't welcome there.

So much about being overweight isn't just about the extra poundage you carry. Sometimes it's as simple as looking in the window of a store and knowing, just knowing, that you can't shop there. For me, I felt bad enough about myself already, and trying to shop for clothes only made it worse.

I'm sure that in the feline world, this position makes a weird sort of sense. (Click photo for larger image.)

Unfortunately, I don't live in that world, so I'll just have to speculate. I guess Edmund's belly was too warm?

To the humans reading this missive, We send casually-meowed greetings and salutations. We recognize that the visitors to Our domicile wish to receive only the best of care from Our humans for the duration of their stay, and We are pleased to announce the results of Our ongoing quality-check program.

Prior to all guest arrivals, We thoroughly investigate the sheet situation of all guest beds in order to assure our guests a 100% mouse-free experience. We simply will not tolerate even the merest whisper of a hint that We might inflict any but the best of mouse-free experiences on Our tolera….uhhhh, beloved guests.

(We'd stand behind the guarantee…but that'd mean We'd have to wake up.)

Click on the following photo to see a demonstration of Our quality-control procedures at work:

As commanded, the Huntsville geeken shall do the dance of joy today: Elijah Clark Granade 7 lbs., 5 oz. Born oh, right around an hour ago - 8:13 a.m. Central time. No photos yet. Something about the parents wanting time to spend with their newfound kidlet before just handing him over to the local geeks. (Who knew?