So, where were we? Seems like my mention of the words "breach of contract" opened a few eyes over at Corporate yesterday afternoon. While I was busy working on refining a couple of scripts for cat.net, an emergency domesticat.net board meeting was held.

So they didn't call me. Yawn. Whatever. Like I'm really interested in hearing them fawn and yawp about how one of their blonde, precious own screwed up royally. Boy, wouldn't the world be something if the pantyhose-wielding piranhas cared about artistic integrity half as much as they cared about contractual obligations? (Think about it. In that world, Britney Spears never would have gotten a second record deal. Good heavens, what a lovely world that would be.)Anyway. I spent most of yesterday evening filing my nails into sharp points, watching Edmund preen himself as he gloated about his new record contract, and imagining various beautiful scenarios in which Miss Uppington-Smythe got her comeuppance, courtroom-style:

Imperiously Glowering Judge (I.G.J.): Miss Uppington-Smythe: did you, or did you not, commit a heinous breach of contract in order to have the final word against this person who loved you, trusted you, and personally asked you to handle her business affairs (including her pet grooming)?

Chelsea, the Pantyhose-Wielding Piranha (C.P.W.P.): No!

I.G.J.: You sure about that?

C.P.W.P.: Yes!

I.G.J.: And, let me guess. You're really a blonde, Miss Uppington-Smythe?

C.P.W.P.: Yes!

Slimy Lawyer Who's On My Side (S.L.W.O.M.S.): Objection! Witness is obviously a pathological liar.

I.G.J.: (nodding) Sustained!

But, alas, life does not work in such lovely and spectacular ways. More's the pity. From what I can tell, my favorite, most darling piranha instead got to spend the afternoon in a comfortable meeting chair, arms and legs daintily crossed, as Corporate worked out 'strategies' to 'minimize detrimental viewer impact while maximizing artistic production.'

In other words, they've gotta find a way to keep the trained seal barking in tune.

The end result came at about seven p.m. yesterday:

To: "Amy"
From: "Robin"
Subject: Pledge Week

Amy,

I wanted to wait to contact you until after our meeting this afternoon. Please accept my apologies for the way that the Pledge Week has been handled so far. I understand that you are frustrated and angry for not being informed of recent business developments, but we are working to put a support mechanism in place to ensure that important information like this does not 'fall through the cracks' again in the future.

Please believe me when I say that we had absolutely no intention of your being informed of the situation in the obviously-hostile manner that you were. We want to get this situation resolved quickly and quietly. We believe in you, and we believe in the power of your words. We want to give you the readership you deserve. I hope you know that.

- Robin
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Robin Stone
Chief Technical Officer, domesticat.net
Vice-President of the Board, domesticat.net
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My response was short, simple, and to the point:

To: "Robin"
From: "Amy"
Subject: re: Pledge Week

I doubt seriously that this situation is going to be 'resolved' until it is 'resolved' that Madame Uppington-Smythe chooses to exit this business enterprise.

Talk is talk, and words are words, and words are my biz. I'll get back to my biz as soon as Miss Uppington-Smythe is no longer a part of it.

Toodles,

Amy.
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Don't believe in yourself.
You're only a fallacy anyway.
Amy :: comments @ domesticat.net
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Hmm. We'll see.