Are you looking for a secret encounter?

It's just criminal, these days - a girl can't even settle in to write a good chunk of PHP without being asked if she wants to have an affair. Whatever is the world coming to? How will I ever manage to get this silly alphabetizing function to work properly?

Today's winner is Yahoo account jon4hotfunn, whose profile (or complete and utter lack of it) can be found here - perhaps we should all say hello?

jon4hotfunn: hi
me: So much fun your username requires an extra 'n'?
jon4hotfunn: LOL
jon4hotfunn: Are you looking for a secret encounter?
me: Secret encounter?
jon4hotfunn: affair?
me: ...and if I were, why would I want to choose you?
jon4hotfunn: :-)
you would
descriptionplease
me: "descriptionplease"?
me: Is this bedside manner, or am I supposed to be turned on, or what?
jon4hotfunn: description please
me: I seem to have all the correct appendages...
jon4hotfunn: lol
me: So what is it, exactly, that you're wanting?
jon4hotfunn: w lady
a lady
me: That's not very specific.
jon4hotfunn: describe yourself
me: Female, the last time I checked.
So, since you said "affair," should I assume you're married?
jon4hotfunn: :-)
me: In other words, yes.
So...married person, probably at work, sniffing around to try to find a way to make life a little more exciting?
me: C'mon, do tell. Inquiring minds want to know.
jon4hotfunn: you ask too many questions and dont answer any
bye
me: Check domesticat.net in a few minutes. You'll be the post of the day. Thanks!
jon4hotfunn: Huh?

Back to writing code, I guess....though someone really should give this guy a critique on his pickup method. Might just have to do that myself...

all tags: 
stupidity
trolls
chat
IM transcripts

Comments

On , gfmorris said...
It would go past his pointy little head.

On , Sean said...
I want one of these guys to end up posting a comment on here. jon4hotfunn: "you suck" sean: *hands jon a flame suit* "enjoy"

On , colter said...
"The Alabama Secret Encounter" (R) 11:00 PM, Cinemax. Young, married woman from Huntsville has virtual affair with anonymous man. She meets him at local Dairy Queen to discover he's really TV's Emmanuel Lewis. Hilarity ensues.

On , gfmorris said...
Damn DirecTV Guide ... I had that on CMDY.

On , domesticat said...
Gotta love it when people use the "talk back to me" link: From: Darkangel0071 @ aol.com Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2002 17:47:28 EST Subject: Are you looking for a secret encounter? To: comments @ domesticat.net Hi how are u Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2002 16:51:55 -0600 From: "AQ : domesticat" To: "Darkangel0071 @ aol.com" Subject: Re: Are you looking for a secret encounter? I'll stick with my stock response: attempting to grow a third arm to alleviate the tedium. Why do you ask? - domesticat ----------------------------------------------------------- domesticat.net: Much ado about the usual nothing. http://domesticat.net/ ----------------------------------------------------------- From: Darkangel0071 @ aol.com Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2002 17:52:45 EST Subject: Re: Are you looking for a secret encounter? To: comments @ domesticat.net can i have a pic of u Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2002 16:55:40 -0600 From: "AQ : domesticat" To: "Darkangel0071 @ aol.com" Subject: Re: Are you looking for a secret encounter? No. I reserve those for people who email me using complete sentences. ----------------------------------------------------------- domesticat.net: Much ado about the usual nothing. http://domesticat.net/ -----------------------------------------------------------

On , gfmorris said...
It has to be the nail polish attracting these fools ...

On , andy said...
You could always just start including a style guide when talking to these folks. "u does not mean You". Please try to use whole words. Whole sentences will follow as a matter of course. Soon, we will be able to discuss matters of grammar.

On , Richard Evans Lee said...
Been a long time since I had Yahoo Messenger up and running. In my case I was looking to meet people. But not for quick hook-ups. My profile made that very clear. There profiles were almost always blank and far too many of them were wanting to be unfaithful to a spouse. I originally created my website as a way to properly introduce myself to someone interesting that I might meet online. Sorry to hear the creeps are still there. Guess they always will be. Best regards, Richard

On , darce said...
Seriously, Amy - I'm almost jealous at the sheer quantity of guys looking for a little "action" in your neck of the woods. Its enough to make a girl want to move to the South....