I've left a tab for this article open on my laptop ever since I first read it.  I wasn't sure if I should just tag it on delicious so it would show up on solecist.net, but you know what?  This is just too damned weird to leave unacknowledged.  For the non-squeamish, (you've been warned!) or just those who delight in the foibles of human nature and/or northern Alabama, read on from this al.com article:

For those of my friends living in Madison County, Alabama, the Madison County Circuit Clerk's office has made the 2009 sample ballot available in PDF format.  Get it, study it, do your research on the minor races and cast an informed vote.

For those friends NOT living in Alabama, I'd encourage you to take a look at the amendments proposed on the ballot to understand why we rage about the sheer unbridled awfulness of Alabama's state constitution.  It is, in a word, embarrassing.  Wikipedia:

Lunch with Wendy today led to a snicker-filled discussion about a flap in the publishing world I hadn't heard about yet. Apparently a prolific romance novelist, Cassie Edwards, who has authored over a hundred romance novels, was outed as a plagiarist by the romance-novel review blog Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Books, whose contributors used Google Book Search to spot numerous similarities between Edwards' work and other works.

If you're curious, check the site; Smart Bitches has posted transcripts. (Ouchie.)

The real winning moment, however, comes from this article in the New York Times: Read the rest »

Dateline: New Westminster, BC.
(Note to self: Go see the old one sometime.)

As I've retold this story countless times in the time since I've returned, I figured the least I could do is share it here as well. I suspect it loses some of its boozy, imperative nature when committed to the written word, though; I think it's probably far funnier in person.

A cultural difference worth knowing: I was raised to hear pretty words, but not to take all of them at face value. An invitation to come stay with someone, if not repeated or mentioned again, was very likely someone just being polite -- not something to be acted upon. It turns out this is not true of everyone: some people issue an invitation only once, really hoping you'll take them up on it, and then shut up if you don't act on it. Ah, North versus South, are there any gaffes this cultural divide can't inspire?

Fast-forward.

Weird. It's not spring yet, but the chickens have all gathered outside and are screaming their fool heads off while staring at the skies. Everyone in Huntsville seems to have gotten the memo that the sky is falling. However, I feel obligated to point out some obvious things amidst the frantic clucking.

The Huntsville city schools closed at 12:30 today, provoking a mad scramble among my co-workers who are parents, in order to make arrangements for all snowflakes to arrive safely home (or to the loving eyes of caregivers elsewhere). The only problem with this scenario?

There is a 'How To Stalk' handbook. Every woman should read it and familiarize herself with the section regarding Target Quality. We, as Liberated Wimmins, have a responsibility to use our new-fangled right to be seen in public sans chaperone (or common sense) with care and dignity. Remember: think before you stalk!

I'm happy to provide this condensed version of the handbook for your reading pleasure: Read the rest »

Let us consider the conundrum of yahoo user readyfornew2, consider it seriously as a single example of a greater sociological problem:

I'm talking about idiocy, of course. Bloody pandemic, really.

You, too, can influence the spin of entries presented on domesticat.net!

In honor of my recent hate-mailer, I'd like to announce a call for topics for the "Cynthia Singler Miura presents the Anthrax Writing Week." Topic suggestions should be short, preferably with satirical promise. Bonus points and extra consideration will be given to topics with relevance to the original email.

Extra bonus points and scritchies for topic suggestions so ludicrous that they make me snort out loud and say, "Oh yes, I have to write about that."

Since I believe in letting everyone stand on their own words around here, I'll share what I just found in my inbox. The name and email address are unchanged. I see no reason to obscure the sender's identity.

From: Cynthia Singler Miura <lardgrandmaearthlink [dot] net>
To: comments [at] domesticat [dot] net
Subject: [No Subject]

Text message sent to friends this afternoon:

All of HSV is at Wal-Mart. You'd think nobody here had ever heard of a tornado before! Hint: toilet paper WILL NOT SAVE YOU.

A few minutes later, a reply from Suzan:

No, but it will cover your ass!