Every now and then, I get a random IM'er whose attempts at … conversation … are so random that I just can't come up with anything funnier to say than what s/he said to me in the first place.Hey, why are you laughing? I'm serious here!

Tonight's winner is compiled over three days of conversations. I ignored him the first two times but the third time, I just couldn't resist testing the waters to see if this was a bot. I think it was. Or a 2 Live Crew song gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Read on:

[01:58] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: this is your picture
[01:58] dr_khaled_elswaf2005:
[01:58] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: iam single here
[01:58] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i love you
[01:58] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: are you married
[01:58] dr_khaled_elswaf2005:
[01:59] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: very beautiful
[01:59] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i sleep with you when ?
[01:59] dr_khaled_elswaf2005:
[01:59] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i burn you very good
[02:00] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i give you love very much
[02:00] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: when i meet you here
[02:00] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i sweet
[02:01] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: evry girls love me
[02:01] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i fun them very good
[02:01] dr_khaled_elswaf2005:
[02:01] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: allow me
[02:01] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i love you
[02:01] dr_khaled_elswaf2005:

[07:26] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: hello

[23:11] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: one penis
[23:11] dr_khaled_elswaf2005:
[23:11] me: Am I supposed to care?
[23:11] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i give you
[23:11] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: ok
[23:11] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i taKE YOU CARE
[23:12] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: YOU FUN MR
[23:12] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: I LOVE YOUR VULVA
[23:12] me: Well, that's good to know, but I don't think she's on speaking terms with YOU.
[23:13] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: my PENOS very beautiful
[23:14] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: WHAT IS TIRMS YOU?
[23:14] me: So far, I am impressed by your non-fluency with English, despite your valiant attempts to hit on me using it.
[23:15] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: I LOVE YOUR VULVA
[23:15] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: it os beautiful
[23:15] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: my penis very big
[23:15] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: it os funny
[23:17] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: I SLEEP WITH YOU day no sleep in vulva
[23:17] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: i fun you
[23:17] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: when i go to you?
[23:17] dr_khaled_elswaf2005:
[23:18] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: with me care for you frist
[23:18] dr_khaled_elswaf2005:

I realize I'm sitting here, half-woozy because my sleep meds are kicking in, wanting to actually carry on a coherent conversation with Jake, who actually happens to be awake and online, but I keep staring stupidly at this pseudo-English and shaking my head.

Perhaps we could do a dramatic reading of this at the birthdaybash. (I'm not sure there's enough alcohol in the world to blot out such a memory, though. Such things must be approached with caution.)

Two more days and the photo work for dragon*con 2005 is over. Finito. I want to say "all my work for dragon*con 2005 is over" but I know that's facetious. I just want some down time. 1300+ photos. Ow.