Misty gets the best auntie birthday present of all: a nephew born on her birthday … the newest bald member of the Granade family.(*ducks*)

Congratulations to Andrew and Joy, whose first child Samuel Nathan was born today. We're still trying to figure out how someone as small as Joy managed to gestate an eight-pound child without, uh, exploding. (Does the C-section count?)

Of course, it turns out that little Sam scored a 9/10 on his Apgars. Nothing like starting a pattern of high achievement from the start.

Congrats, guys. I'm sure after he completes his world takeover we'll all look back and say, "But he was such a cute kid…"

No, Andrew, just because you're a parent now doesn't mean that I'm going to burn all those great blackmail photos of you I have from when we were teenagers. Oh no. Just send Sam to me around his fifteenth birthday. I'll tell him how it REALLY was.