Why gamers shouldn't run Christmas

Why geeks like us shouldn't be allowed to manage holiday festivities:

(HT to Adam)

"Maybe we'll get used to eternal torment"

Usually I have at least pithy commentary. Right now, I don't, and nothing anthrax-related either (that's for later today) but I am contractually obligated to pass on this link that Brian sent me:The Armageddon Flowchart (crude text-and-arrows image but contains a few words in the image that wouldn't be worksafe if your work browser snoopers could read what's in the image)

I shall now alt-tab away from this window and continue tossing quotes from this image to my friends.

Plague rats swimming in the betting pool

I spoke with one of the nurses at my GP's office today, and I will be seen this afternoon. They're concerned at how long this mystery illness has held on, and I [unfortunately?] made the mistake of coughing while I was on the phone.Apparently I have the unmistakable rattle of Peruvian Death Flu.

So! In the true spirit of this website, and my sick sense of humor … place your bets. What do I have? Bonuses for creativity of answer or whatever I feel is worthy of a bonus (or just not coughing on).

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Contraceptive overkill

"Don't you think that's a little … overkill?"I'd been waiting in the doctor's office for at least a quarter of an hour, ready for what I was certain would be a completely routine post-op consult. Having never had any kind of major surgery before this tubal ligation, wisdom teeth extraction excepted, I didn't realize that the existence of a surgical incision required a follow-up visit, about two weeks post-op, to ensure that everything was healing correctly.

Turducken-making instructions for the insane

This page explains in truly gory detail exactly how you would make a turducken. (Photos are worksafe, but page contains words that aren't.)

Yes, I know a couple of you are vegetarians … you know who you are. Just don't even read this, ok? You'd cry. But for the rest of you carnivores, you're about to encounter instructions like these: