takeover

When I emerged after a rather exasperating day, I found this text file on my computer. It seems appropriate to share it with all of you, since it seems you’ve been privy to today’s events as they happened:

World,

It was a wonderful day, wasn’t it? Our toes are dirty and our fur is still warm from the sunlight. But we’re hungry, and it’s dark, and we both very very desperately want cuddles. My oh-so-silly-brother Tenzing is frantic, half-dazed, desperately rubbing up against the couch and love seat in an attempt to simulate scritchies. I want my ears rubbed, and I think the litterbox needs a touch of tending.

I just hope they speak to us after we unlock the closets we stuffed them in. Better yet, no speaking - just bites of Crunchy Cat Food, perhaps a play or two with the Toy-On-A-Stick. We’ll sniff the male one’s dinner and then, after he goes to bed, we’ll pile up on the bed and help the mommycat with her Spanish-language studies.

Tenzing is growing hungry, and is very unlikable right now. He has begun to pace and yowl. I think he needs attention. I tried grooming him, but he bit me on the ass. I guess that means he doesn’t want to be groomed.I think he’s missing the Crunchy Food we usually get every day. He went outside to hunt. Either he is dumber than I originally thought, or the mice are much smarter. The toy-on-a-stick always plays along when we want to hunt; why don’t the mice? I’m very confused.

Hunting vastly overrated. Silly mouse didn’t stand still and let me stalk it. Mouse does not appear to understand rules of the game:

Edmund is weak. He wants his mommycat. He is becoming whiny. Perhaps I should treat him as he treats me - a nice, brotherly bite on the butt to remind him who is boss.Loud banging noises coming from closets. The female one is especially unhappy. She is yelling promises of food and treats to Edmund, who is dangerously close to giving in. He doesn’t seem to understand that we are predators, capable of hunting and killing our own food with nothing more than our wits and our delicately-taloned paws.

After a good deal of effort, we managed to open one of the windows. (Again, many things are difficult without opposable thumbs.) Tenzing remembered how he leaned into the window screen and made it fall off, so I talked him into doing it again.We sniffed the front porch very, very carefully. There were many things that needed examining. More tasty bugs - which we ate - and a couple more spiders - which we didn’t.

We wish the female one still grew catnip for us. We miss fresh catnip.

The male one is now in his closet. He was remarkably easy to fool, but expressed greater displeasure when he realized he was locked in the closet. It appears he has not yet figured out that the female one is in the foyer closet.

Bonus for us.Edmund is currently sitting in front of the male one’s closet, taunting him by purring loudly. The male one can hear Edmund through the door, and is not pleased. He thinks this “work” is more important than our needs, and wishes to be let out to go to this “work.”